Archive for February, 2010

Inappropriate Songs for a Wedding #5

Posted in Inappropriate Songs for a Wedding with tags on February 28, 2010 by awickerman

It’s Sunday, what better day for a song that brides would be best to avoid when coming down the aisle. Unless they have no intention of getting married or have a particularly malicious streak, in which case these choices are full of win.

Kaiser Chiefs – Every Day I Love You Less and Less

If that doesn’t prompt a deep and fundamental self doubt in your partner to be nothing will

Stupid Question on the Day

Posted in And thus the Mystery was solved Watson!, Tunnels with tags , , , on February 27, 2010 by awickerman

The clearly not very bright Infrastructure Planning Commission asks a really stupid question.

There are those who say there are no stupid question. Those people are wrong there are many stupid questions, this is one of them. In this case it’s stupid as the IPC clearly can’t read, National Grid have already outlined why they chose those options in a lovely report.

Now they may disagree with the report, that would be a perfectly acceptable position, but that’s not what they’re asking for. They’re asking National Grid to explain something they’ve already explained.

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Cause and Effect #173

Posted in Uncategorized on February 26, 2010 by awickerman

This latest stunner from the RMT caught my eye for the claim people are shooting air guns at tube drivers. Turns out on reading the article (page 2) it’s in fact someone firing an air gun at Bakerloo line trains damaging a few windows. A nasty surprise to be sure and certainly not something to be encouraged but I still think the illustrative picture of a sectarian terrorist with an AK is not really appropriate.

However the whine about the police not rushing over an armed response unit instantly did remind me of this restrained picture;

Policeman

Which is the balanced and entirely fair image RMT London use for their police and justice site. Now you could argue that the Police should rise above such things and treat all equally, but lets be honest we’re dealing with human beings here. If someone spends years insulting and abusing you and your entire profession your not going to bust a gut to help them are you? Particularly when they’re not in any real danger and are just looking for an excuse to knock of early and claim a fortune in compo for stress.

Inappropriate Songs for a Wedding #4

Posted in Inappropriate Songs for a Wedding with tags on February 23, 2010 by awickerman

A blast of 1980s retro and this one I think is particularly inappropriate, and not just for the heavy use of synths;

Eurythmics – Sex Crime (1984)

Bonus points if the groom is actually a sex pest. Double bonus if the bride is. Maximum points for following the happy couple to their honeymoon, waiting for them to start their ‘marital duties’ and then bursting out of their hotel wardrobe with a video camera screaming ‘Big Brother is watching!” before jumping out of the window.

News from the railways

Posted in Almost Beyond Words, Rantings with tags , , , on February 22, 2010 by awickerman

After laughing heartily at the RMT scheduling a strike on a day when the targeted service wasn’t running I headed of to the RMT website for a bit of (one sided) background. Once there I discovered their hard hitting rebuttal as to what it is guards do besides open doors and why death, destruction and misery will result if they are taken away. By going back a mere two decades they’ve dragged up four whole examples, but surely they are vital examples? Well no they’re not.

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The terrifying calibre of local government sartorial elegance

Posted in Almost Beyond Words with tags , , on February 18, 2010 by awickerman

While riding the exciting roller-coaster that is my life I had to find my way to the local rubbish tip, this required I consult my local council website where I foolishly thought the ‘Find services near you’ feature would help. It didn’t but it did reveal this;

Spectacular

My local councillor, Eileen Kinnear.

My first thought was someone with a grudge has hacked the Harrow council website. But if they have they appear to have got at almost every picture of her. Perhaps this is terribly old news and I’ve just missed it somehow, but it was new to me.

Further Candidates for the Wicker Man

Posted in The Wicker Man list on February 18, 2010 by awickerman

A somewhat unusual choice this time, it is not a person or group of people but instead the Great Crested Newt which must be condemned to the fiery pagan death of the Wicker Man. There may well be others more deserving but those damned newts have it coming at some point so why not as soon as possible? After all Wicker Men are a sustainable resource, no danger of the world hitting ‘Peak Wicker’.

What has the GCN, as I will henceforth abbreviate it to save my fingers, done to deserve this? get in the way mainly, I was reminded of it’s annoying habit only today by this story

Once the water level drops to approximately 1m above the dock bed, specialist contractors will go into the dock to safely remove and relocate any fish and aquatic life that might be present.

You may think specialist contractor is merely fancy words for ‘Bloke with bucket’ but oh no it’s a specialist field particularly as I happen to have been tipped off the problem on the site is, as so often, newts. Thus you are legally compelled to forsake your bucket and consult a Newt Translocator who, despite superficially resembling a man with a bucket, is completely different as he has a licence from the Environment Agency. And a bucket.

All of this may be acceptable if the GCN were a rare species, endangered the world over and just clinging onto a few rare habitats.¬† But they aren’t, that’s the problem. You can barely throw a brick without hitting one of the damn things¬† and it is a lucky engineer who hasn’t had to deal with severe newt related delays. Sure they are rare in continental Europe (they may well be a delicacy in France, almost everything else is), that’s why they made the EU habitats directive, but the more geographically aware will have noticed the UK is not the continent and thus isn’t in fact the same.

You could argue it is unfair to blame the newts for this, it is the politicians who passed the laws. And certainly I do, hence why the will be joining the GCN in the Wicker Man, but I feel the newt itself must shoulder a large part of the blame just for deliberately choosing building sites to live in. Or worse turn up during the survey then bugger off after all the money has been spent.

However until the Great Crested Newt can be encased in flaming wicker I recommend installing suitable fencing to keep them in or out as required. That or do what the perhaps less reputable contractors do and quietly dispose of the buggers and then tell no-one.

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