Archive for It made me laugh anyway

Cheap Joke of the Day

Posted in Even Stevie Wonder Saw That Coming, Irregular Features, Tenuous Link of the Day, The Wicker Man list with tags , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by awickerman

Warplanes over Libya! Revolution in Yemen! The continuing existence of the retarded fool Christian Wolmar!

I am concerned about none of these things, instead I am laughing at the name of an entirely innocent US warship that happens to be sailing to Libya; the mighty USS Ponce.

That I find this amusing to the extent of ignoring most of what it’s actually doing off Libya tells you a great deal about the human race. Or perhaps just about me, who knows?

Endearing Spam

Posted in Even Stevie Wonder Saw That Coming, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , on January 17, 2011 by awickerman

While clearing out the spam comments I came across this beauty. You can almost taste the desperation and as such I feel I should share it with a (slightly) wider audience;

It’s so hard to get backlinks these days, honestly i need a backlink by comments on your blog / forums or guestbook to make my website appear in search engine. I am getting desperate Now! I know you’ll laugh while reading this comment !!! Here is my website penis enlargement I know my comments do not relate to the topic, but PLEASE HELP ME!! APPROVING MY COMMENT!
Regards: HonestMan2011SPH

While doubtless produced by some form of automated system I prefer to cling to the idea of some poor bugger having to post them all by hand and getting increasingly desperate to sell some dodgy penis pills lest he be forced to go and get a real job, all the while failing to realise that gainful employment would be both more lucrative and less actual work.

Property Puns

Posted in Engineering, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2011 by awickerman

Further to the last post on puns in the world of large London towers I present this beauty from Property Week. Commenting on the Shard tower poking further up into London, and on Simon Jenkins making an even bigger tit of himself than usual, this wonderful headline emerged;

No need for Shard-enfreude

There is nothing more that need be said

A Gift I Think Will Keep On Giving

Posted in Almost Beyond Words, And thus the Mystery was solved Watson!, Engineering, Posts that are far longer than I first intended, The Idiocy and Ignorance of Gilligan, The Underground, Tunnels with tags , , , , , , on December 20, 2010 by awickerman

While it’s too early to be sure I think pointing and laughing at Andrew Gilligan is going to be a gold mine of lazy posts. Here is a gem from a couple of days ago;

Another interesting thing, though, is that several of the delays weren’t snow-related, but due to signal failures, train breakdowns and the like.

Without any information either way the options are either the signalling system and trains failed due to the extreme cold and snow OR all suffered unrelated failures at exactly the same time. Honestly which is more likely, not that I’m saying TfL have an excuse for being surprised by snow, but I think we can safely say pretty much all the problems were snow and cold related. But then what can you expect from an idiot who says things like this;

substantial proportion of its network is protected from snow by being underground (including about 95% of the Circle Line, which nonetheless still manages to suffer “severe delays.”)

What could possibly cause that problem? Let’s have a quick quiz, could it be;

  1. That the Circle Line, like all London Underground Lines is run at pretty much peak capacity so delays on the 5% above ground would quickly ripple through the entire system?
  2. That the Circle Line shares track with the Hammersmith & City Line, District Line and Metropolitan Line and so suffers knock on delays whenever they fail?
  3. That the Circle Line uses 1960s vintage ‘C’ stock trains that, barring the Metropolitan and Victoria Line stock that is being replaced at present, is the oldest and least reliable on the network?
  4. That it’s well established LUL procedure that the Circle Line gets knocked out first and suffers the biggest problem as it’s least-critical (i.e. doesn’t go anywhere other lines don’t also service).
  5. All of the above, hence why the Circle Line is historically the least reliable of all
  6. Something else

If you said anything from 1-4, you scored 5 points, well done. If you said 5,  you score 10 point, well done. If you said 7, you were doing a different quiz, well done.

However if you said 6 then I’m afraid you score no points. You’ve managed to stoop down to Gilligan’s level and can probably fake brain activity low enough to write his blog for him. Commiserations.

Imagine? No I’d rather not thanks.

Posted in Inappropriate Songs for a Wedding, Irregular Features, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , , on December 9, 2010 by awickerman

This chap sums up the full hypocritical horror of Imagine better than I ever could.

Frankly it’s enough to make you grateful someone stopped John Lennon before he could write anything worse….

Prediction: A Mug’s Game

Posted in And thus the Mystery was solved Watson!, Posts that are far longer than I first intended, Rantings with tags , , , , , , on December 1, 2010 by awickerman

So as snow continues to cause traffic chaos/mild inconvenience here is an actually topical reminder on the wisdom (or otherwise) of making predictions. Way back in 2000 a senior research scientist made this bold claim;

within a few years winter snowfall will become “a very rare and exciting event”.

That’s not really worked out well for him has it? But to his credit he was still banging away on it as recently as the start of the year;

‘We’ve had three weeks of relatively cold weather, and that doesn’t change anything. ‘This winter is just a little cooler than average, and I still think that snow will become an increasingly rare event.’

Marvellous consistency and standing up for his beliefs. If only his grasp of the facts was as strong. People aren’t saying he’s wrong because of the last few weeks. They’re saying he’s wrong because of the last decade. Just a quick BBC search reveals heavy snow in 2000, 2004 and 2009. There will be more, I remember there being more. Hell just a few days after that article came out and he said ‘it was just a few cold weeks’ this was published saying Scotland had the coldest winter ever in 2009/2010 and the rest of the country had the coldest and snowiest for decades.

The point here isn’t that snow is getting rarer, it’s that it’s getting more common. The Indie article itself says there hadn’t been any significant snow in London 1991-2000, yet since then it’s been snowy more often than not. It’s not just that the prediction is wrong, it’s that the exact opposite of his prediction has happened and yet he has not adjusted his prediction.

So in summary he’s a ‘scientist’ who refuses to pay attention to what’s going on and instead doggedly sticks to his theory in the face of the data that proves him utterly incorrect. That doesn’t sound very scientific to me I must confess. Oh wait a minute, he works for East Anglia University’s Climatic Research Unit. That explains a great deal…

However to end this post on less controversial ground I think there is one lesson everyone should be able to agree on; making very confident predictions about something you don’t fully understand is at best arrogant, at worst foolish and generally both.

Great WiFi names of our times

Posted in Irregular Features, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , on November 24, 2010 by awickerman

Due to a thrilling move at work I’ve been messing around with WiFi at the office. While searching for the company network I found this wonder:

image

Someone not very keen on sharing their internet connection clearly.

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