Archive for The Fear

Euphemism of the Day #1

Posted in Irregular Features, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , on October 14, 2010 by awickerman

Today’s euphemism is brought to you by the loveable funsters at Volkswagen and is;

Entfeinerungor in English  “derefinement”

Derefinement is the new way of saying decontenting, now that everyone has worked out decontenting means ‘taking out the good bits and making something rubbish’

This is used in a context such as “We are going to derefine Skoda as everyone has worked out they are better and cheaper than the equivalent Volkswagen they are based on”.  So for any Skoda owners who were enjoying the fact the brand has finally emerged as respectable I can only say bad luck, it’s back to the depths for Skoda.

Today’s bonus euphemism is also from VW and describes the situation where instead of sacking someone you wait till they die or retire. In VW speak this is ““die biologische Lösung”, “the biological solution.” Almost as if the company had a shady history in such terminal solutions…..  wait a minute..

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For those who demand scat

Posted in Alas the Mystery Remains Holmes, Almost Beyond Words, Even Stevie Wonder Saw That Coming, Tenuous Link of the Day, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on September 21, 2010 by awickerman

Do you want scat right now? I hope not but if you do then I recommend you talk to the nice chaps at SCATnow. If you’re not sure they’ll even try and convince you by answering the question ‘Why SCAT?, hopefully with a better answer than ‘Why not?’

Dear. Lord. No.

Posted in Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , , , on August 30, 2010 by awickerman

A whole chicken in a can. Words fail me.

Friday Strangeness

Posted in Alas the Mystery Remains Holmes, Almost Beyond Words, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , on August 13, 2010 by awickerman

The concrete pipe hotel. As you might expect this is an Austrian idea, Austrians being the world leaders in locking people into constrained concrete places.

The perils of Google

Posted in Alas the Mystery Remains Holmes, Almost Beyond Words with tags , , , , , on July 4, 2010 by awickerman

A job last week required I search for a bizarre string of acronyms, the details of which are both dull and irrelevant. Top result on Goggle was this terrifying masterpiece;

The horror, the horror.

In all honesty my world was a slightly better place before I knew people were (a) interested in Belgium number plates, (b) felt the need to produce websites on the subject and worst of all (c) that there are at least 26 of them judging by the poll.

Great Questions of Our Time #342

Posted in Alas the Mystery Remains Holmes, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , on July 3, 2010 by awickerman

This sentence either makes no sense or is posing a great philosophical question.

The Highways Agency has agreed to erect two fences and to plant some hawthorns to protect the naturists’ modesty and peace and quiet.

Assuming it is deliberate it does pose the question; If you are a nudist do you in fact have any modesty?

Scotland’s Bid for World Domination

Posted in Almost Beyond Words, Tenuous Link of the Day with tags , , , , on June 18, 2010 by awickerman

Never let it be said Scotland lacks ambition, even now they plan to take over the world through the medium of deep fried chocolate.

The best dessert he’d discovered, he said, was a Snickers Bar dunked in pancake batter and, this being Indiana, deep-fried.

So says Mitch Daniels, Governor of Indiana and Presidential hopeful for 2012. If a man infected with the Scottish fetish for deep frying everything gets in power there is no hope for the world’s cuisine or arteries. Or indeed the world itself for that matter.

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